The Good, The Bad and The Boring — A Writer’s Update While Stuck Inside

Hello, Again,

I hope you’ve been well since our last meeting. This impromptu post came to mind while working on something else and decided it was the right time to give an update. Like everyone else out there trying to adjust, cope, deal, and process all that is happening in our world with COVID-19, my normal schedule has been altered. I am balancing my normal to-do list with creating school assignments and activities for my cousin while he’s out of school.

On top of that, I’m working through a family situation that involves caring for a family member and their recovery. But I won’t get into that right now. I am still writing, reading, and kicking ass–just at a bumper rate at the moment. Ironically, this is a post I drafted based on just the titles several years ago. As both a writer and a (general) book blogger, I have always found more comfort in posting my comments and thoughts on the material I read. Rather than sharing personal stories of my struggles and hard times.

Putting that all into a journal or in the thoughts and words of a fictional character I’ve created was always easier for me than to just post it here. Will I make that part of my “something new” theme here? I don’t know. I think keeping this generally a book-blog/media site is what works best for me.

It has allowed me to make a number of contacts with creative indie writers and it is still a space I feel at home with. However, that urge to share more of me with all of you and the rest of the world bubbles just under the surface. So,  a few weeks ago I applied to be a contributing content writer with Ghost Speaks. It is a powerfully open platform where writers and just normal people can share their stories with the rest of the world anonymously, under a pen name or their own.

Over there I am still G. Jacks for the pieces I’ve shared but who knows, I might submit a few things anonymously from time to time. 😏 Whether you check out Ghost Speaks because of my posts or someone else’s story I highly recommend putting in the time to read some of the pieces there. You never know, you could come across a post from a person who has or is going through the same thing you are.

With the current restrictions and limitations we are all facing, I have turned to books, manga, anime, tv shows (a few) and writing to space out my free time and remain busy. The latter has always been my strongest saving grace. For those who might be having a hard time adjusting, I wanted to close out this post with a few options to pass the time.

WAYS TO CURVE THE SOLUM BOREDOM

animals blur car close up

Photo by NEOSiAM 2020 on Pexels.com

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Why Does Bringing Awareness to & Talking About Mental illness Matter To Me?

Well over two months ago, Awarecause reached out to me and asked if I would be interested in sharing my story for a cause that was important to me. I was really surprised that they reached out to me and also really excited to take part.

I agreed to share and they sent me a promo code to purchase a necklace at a discounted price and I got it two days later. I wear my #Awarecause necklace nearly every day and as I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, I thought I’d share a longer post about it.

I was originally going to pick a pink AWARE necklace for two women in my life that I have lost to breast cancer and talk about them, but as it was meant to be a personal “your story,” I decided to purchase the mental illness AWARE necklace instead. Just that category alone is compacted with so many different variables, but I try to stick to the two that have affected me throughout my life and I hope other readers are able to connect with it as well.

I see my story as being very interconnected with so many different points of my life that it is kind of hard to pinpoint just one thing that I associate with the importance of mental illness. As a detail-oriented person and essentially a type-A personality, I am known to others as being a self-starter and so internally driven that not much of anything will leave a dent or cause me, for even a second, to slow down.

But that’s not the case—I do not think that it can be like that with anyone, ever. I am the oldest in my family, so on top of natural pressure that leaves on me to work hard, be a role model and this spearheaded, pristine example, I face my ups and my downs.

What most people may not know about me is that every day I live/fight with and adjust to a physical disability that I was born with. I can walk but my disability has its limitations, and sometimes I have worse days than others to simply make it downstairs to walk my dog but I power through it. Keeping my mental state stronger, more determined, committed and progressive over my legs and body being in so pain and discomfort that I can’t really move around is a constant struggle.

All my life it has caused me to go through such overwhelming bouts of anxiety and depression, especially when I was younger and in school. Seen as the petite girl who walked funny or was occasionally walking half the day and in a wheelchair for the rest. While I know that being handicap(able) will always have its ups and down, I also know that it shouldn’t and cannot prevent me from doing everything I set my mind on.

But not every day has been filled with unwavering gumption, assurance, and confidence. Even though I am older now, those thoughts and feelings can still weigh on my mind. I’m more fortunate than others who lose that fight every day which is another reason why I think it’s important to continue to raise awareness and bring attention to anxiety, depression, and all other forms of mental illness.

Thank you so much for stopping by and viewing this post. And huge thank you to Awarecause for reaching out and asking me to share.

 

 

 

Until the next post,
Gia J

Go Ahead (Pt. 3 Of Stages)

Hiya,

So for this part of the Stages titled Go Ahead, I have molded a kind of continuation from Pt. 1, I Want Out, but solely from the other half’s perspective. I’ve been sitting on this part for quite some time now because it seemed like it was missing something. It wasn’t until recently that I realized it was the way that it was because my creative buzz for this part of the series intended it to be; short, sweet and to the point  🙂

Go Ahead (Pt. 3 Of Stages)

Go ahead
And replace the laughing memories with your cruelty

Go ahead
And erase that love between us like it never existed

Go ahead
And show the world who you really are

Go ahead
And completely freeze me out of your life

Go ahead
And forget the talks and dreams we painted for the rest of our lives

Go ahead
And nurse that bitterness until you feel warm at night

I’m no longer restless, choked up, or sad
So, go ahead because I’ll be the one celebrating in the end

 

As always, thanks so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed this post.  ^_^

Until next time,

Gia.

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You & I (Pt. 2 Of Stages)

Hiya,

So for this part of the Stages titled You & I, I have incorporated three elements: the passing of a loved one, a friendship ending and a romantic relationship coming to an end. This installment ties in with I Want Out, but on a slightly different level because of the other perspectives included within this poem as well as the dual perspectives You & I offers to the reader.

You & I (Pt. 2 Of Stages)

You’re the only person I let see me cry
You’re the only one who stays up late talking with me on the phone when I can’t sleep

I can remember when we said our goodbyes on that stale, hot August day
I can remember the way the light in your eyes faded as you slipped away

You’re the first person I want to share my good news with
You’re the only one who understands my jokes with just a look

I want to stop you, chase you down, and make you change your mind
I want to go back to hanging out in the park and talking on the porch at night

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I Want Out (Pt.1 Of Stages)

Hiya, guys:

This post is clearly a bit different than the normal ones, obviously, but I’ve been kind of in a weird limbo lately. I used to write a lot of poems in high school to help put things into perspective and I was struggling with a bit of raw emotions this month, creatively, professionally and personally, so I decided to go back to my roots, sort of speak.

My original goal was to keep all/any poems I wrote on my writer’s cafe page here, basically because the pieces are usually short, but since it’s a short series, I figured putting them here would be better.  (Though I will still be posting them to my writer’s cafe page.)

There are a few parts to this collect and if it isn’t clear already, Stages deals with the different levels of separation. Not only romantic relationships, but familial ties and friendships. I hope you all enjoy it and take something from it or, at the very least are able to find some catharsis in it.

I Want Out (Pt.1 Of Stages)

I want out
Of this afflicting corrosion
Of this cage
Of these chains

Let me breathe
The fresh, brisk air of freedom
The wondrous curiosity of the future
The alluring excitement of adventure

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