We Could Have Been Friends, My Father and I: A Palestinian Memoir by Raja Shehadeh

My Book Thoughts:

Diving into My Father and I Could Have Been Friends: A Palestinian Memoir by Raja Shehadeh reveals a narrative that intricately intertwines the lives of the author and his father, Aziz. This memoir serves not only as a heartfelt homage to paternal bonds but also as an unraveling of the rich tapestry of Palestinian history.

Raja’s evocative storytelling draws poignant parallels between himself and his father, Aziz. The vivid descriptions of Aziz’s life, motivations, and unwavering commitment to the Palestinian cause paint a compelling portrait of an underdog who emerges as a hero. Despite Aziz’s unyielding efforts, his unresolved assassination and the Israeli government’s reluctance to investigate cast a lingering shadow of injustice over the narrative.

The denial of access to the case file, justified under the guise of “privacy and information secrecy,” hints at a more disturbing truth—the possibility that those in power know the killer’s identity, potentially implicating high-ranking officials. This revelation fuels a sense of frustration, echoing the broader theme of oppression faced by Aziz and his human rights activism, particularly post-Nakba.

Raja adeptly navigates the complexities of his father’s life, portraying him not only as a dedicated human rights advocate but also as a mentor and guide in law. The exploration of the stark generational differences between Raja and Aziz, initially perceived as indifference, gradually transforms into a bittersweet connection as Raja delves deeper into his father’s legacy.

The book unfolds the internal struggles within the Shehadeh family, reflecting broader societal shifts in Palestine. Raja’s depiction of his father’s stoic demeanor and unyielding pursuit of justice becomes a lens through which the political landscape and the challenges faced by Palestinians are viewed.

As the narrative progresses, Raja’s commitment to preserving his father’s legacy becomes increasingly apparent. The exploration of Aziz’s notes and unpublished articles provides profound insights into the Nakba and the tragic decisions that led to the illegal occupation of Palestine. The involvement of countries like the United States, Britain, and France, coupled with the betrayal of Arab states, adds a layer of political intrigue and anger that intensifies the gravity of the situation.

The memoir fearlessly exposes the unsettling truth about international complicity in the atrocities committed against the Palestinian people. Learning about the United States supplying weapons to Israeli colonizers and seeking Arab assistance in suppressing Palestinian resistance is a gut-wrenching revelation that elicits disgust and raises questions about the ongoing consequences of such actions.

While recounting Aziz’s life, from his upbringing to his career, the memoir offers glimpses of normalcy amid the turmoil. However, it is not without its criticisms, particularly regarding the depiction of women in Aziz’s life and Raja’s family. Acknowledging these women may not have been directly involved in the legal system, it seems unfair that their opinions and political views are overlooked, highlighting the broader issue of sexism.

Moreover, the tragedy of displacement and the loss of homes, wealth, citizenship, and generational history resonate deeply. The Nakba, a catastrophic event that forcibly uprooted Palestinians, becomes an unthinkable reality, underscoring the harsh consequences of political maneuvering and power struggles.

One of the most powerful aspects of the memoir is the parallel drawn between Raja and Aziz’s commitment to human rights. The title, “We could have been friends, my father and I,” takes on profound meaning as the narrative unfolds. Despite differing perspectives and generations, the shared values and goals emerge as a testament to the enduring legacy of Aziz.

While reflecting on the past, Raja grapples with the political machinations that have marred Palestinian history. Furthermore, the memoir sheds light on the plotting of powerful nations and their role in destabilizing Palestine, perpetuating a cycle of suffering that continues to this day.

Raja wrestles with the hindsight of these events, acknowledging the difficulty of foreseeing such monumental challenges. The Palestinian people, left in the dark, were blindsided by political schemes and land grabs that altered the course of their history.

In conclusion, My Father and I Could Have Been Friends is a compelling exploration of familial bonds, political upheaval, and the enduring quest for justice. Raja Shehadeh’s masterful storytelling not only pays homage to his father but serves as a poignant reminder of the ongoing struggles faced by the Palestinian people. As readers traverse the pages of this memoir, they are confronted with the harsh realities of injustice, political betrayal, and the resilient spirit that persists even in the face of seemingly insurmountable challenges.

About the Author: Raja Shehadeh is the author of A Rift in Time, When the Bulbul Stopped Singing, Strangers in the House, described by the Economist as “distinctive and truly impressive,” and Palestinian Walks, for which he won the 2008 Orwell Prize. Shehadeh trained as a barrister in London and is a founder of the human rights organization Al-Haq. He blogs regularly for the International Herald Tribune/New York Times and lives in Ramallah, on the West Bank.

To quote Plestia from an Aljazeera interview: https://www.tiktok.com/@aljazeeraenglish/video/7315156081012002091

“We are not numbers; we are people. We have dreams…I just hope people will see us as humans. [And] I hope that they will understand that we’re resilient and we are patient because we don’t have any other option. But it’s not like Palestinians are built for wars and aggression. No, we’re humans. We love life and we want to live in peace as well just like any other human.”

My goal has been to share these nonfiction books with as much detail and clarity as possible. Slightly bereft of my normal commentary and in the moment thoughts and opinions. However, I find with content such as with this book it is still a challenge but sharing my thoughts and stance on these issues are important as well.

Thank you for stopping by and checking out my post.

Until the next one,

Gia.

Things You May Find Hidden in My Ear: Poems from Gaza by Mosab Abu Toha

My Book Thoughts:

“Things You May Find Hidden In My Ear” unfolds as a soul-stirring debut poetry novel, inviting readers into the rich tapestry of Mosab Abu Toha’s life—from the innocence of childhood to the profound moments of fatherhood. Each poem is a testament to purity, honesty, and a vivid portrayal of life, creating a surreal experience, especially when viewed through the lens of his younger self.

Abu Toha’s verses play with lightness and curiosity, seamlessly intertwining with the weight of life’s challenges within his family and the broader community. The poems act as windows into the struggles faced by loved ones and even strangers, depicting the stark realities of death, close encounters with mortality, and the chilling memories of four violent militant attacks in Gaza. Through these words, the resilience of the Palestinian people resonates, capturing hearts with its enduring strength.

Engaging with this emotionally charged and reflective book, readers embark on a journey of profound intensity. Abu Toha’s powerful verses, rich with detail and information, create an immersive experience. Personally, navigating through the book became a deeply moving and challenging expedition. Over the past two months, we’ve been amplifying the voices and stories of the illegal occupation of Palestine, shedding light on the suffering in Gaza and the West Bank. Witnessing the destruction of homes, schools, hospitals, and places of worship, alongside the lives of innocent civilians, has left an indelible mark on our collective conscience.

In the pages of “Things You May Find Hidden In My Ear,” the poet not only captures the historical resilience of the Palestinian people but also brings the reader into a poignant conversation within the present. Published in April 2022, the book gains a haunting timeliness as many of the places mentioned in the selected poems and the interview (with the author at the end of the book) have been destroyed in the last sixty days. Abu Toha’s past experiences come alive, resonating with the current state of affairs in Gaza, adding an extra layer of emotional weight to the reader’s experience.

Reading the vivid accounts of past devastation while simultaneously witnessing the ongoing destruction is a heart-wrenching paradox. It’s as if time itself is caught in a cruel loop, a recurring nightmare that refuses to end. The author’s portrayal of events becomes even more powerful, transcending the pages of the book and resonating with the urgent reality of the present moment. The reader is left grappling with the profound question of how such atrocities persist without substantial intervention.

In “Things You May Find Hidden In My Ear,” Mosab Abu Toha doesn’t just share his personal journey; he invites readers to bear witness to the ongoing struggles of a people and a region entangled in a relentless cycle of hardship. The book serves as a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit in the face of unrelenting adversity, urging us to confront uncomfortable truths and prompting a call to action that transcends the confines of its pages.

About the author:

Mosab Abu Toha is the winner of a 2022 Palestine Book Award and a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award in Poetry.
He is a Palestinian poet, scholar, and librarian who was born in Gaza and has spent his life there. He is the founder of the Edward Said Library, Gaza’s first English-language library. Things You May Find Hidden in My Ear is his debut book of poems. It won a 2022 Palestine Book Award and was named a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award in Poetry.
In 2019-2020, Abu Toha was a Visiting Poet in the Department of Comparative Literature at Harvard University. Abu Toha is a columnist for Arrowsmith Press, and his writings from Gaza have also appeared in The Nation and Literary Hub. His poems have been published in Poetry, The Nation, The New York Review of Books, the Academy of American Poets’ Poem-a-Day, and Poetry Daily, among others.

Wrapping up this reflection on “Things You May Find Hidden In My Ear,” I sincerely hope that amidst the emotional journey these words have taken you on, you’ve found something uplifting and thought-provoking. Literature has a unique power to bridge gaps, fostering understanding and empathy.

Let’s carry with us the importance of continuing to read, share, and amplify the voices and stories of the Palestinian people. It is through these narratives that we can truly grasp the gravity of the injustices and challenges they face daily. By staying informed and engaged, we contribute to a collective dialogue that transcends borders and brings attention to the urgent need for change.

Thank you for taking the time to explore these reflections with me. Your commitment to learning and understanding plays a vital role in fostering awareness and compassion.

Until the next post,

Gia.

Only Mostly Devastated By: Sophie Gonzales :❤️: | Book Review

Only Mostly Devastated
By: Sophie Gonzales
Genre:Contemporary Romance, Family, LGBTQ, YA Fiction, Friendships
Rating: Loved it
Publisher:St. Martain’s Press/Wenesday Books
Release Date: March 3, 2020

🏳️‍🌈

IndieBound | Amazon |

Synopsis:

SIMON VS. THE HOMO SAPIENS AGENDA meets CLUELESS in this boy-meets-boy spin on Grease

Summer love…gone so fast.

Ollie and Will were meant to be a summer fling—casual, fun, and done. But when Ollie’s aunt’s health takes a turn for the worse and his family decides to stay in North Carolina to take care of her, Ollie lets himself hope this fling can grow to something more. Dreams that are crushed when he sees Will at a school party and finds that the sweet and affectionate (and comfortably queer) guy he knew from summer isn’t the same one attending Collinswood High.

Will is more than a little shocked to see Ollie the evening of that first day of school. While his summer was spent being very much himself, back at school he’s simply known as one of the varsity basketball guys. Now Will is faced with the biggest challenge of his life: follow his heart and risk his friendships, or stay firmly in the closet and lose what he loves most.

Pulled from my read-book vault:

My Thoughts

Only Mostly Devastated by Sophie Gonzales invites readers into the tumultuous world of teenage emotions, deftly balancing between carefree moments and the overly dramatic tones that define adolescence. This delightful coming-of-age novel explores the evolution of a summer fling into a heartfelt journey of self-discovery.

Ollie and Will’s summer romance takes an unexpected turn as they navigate the challenges of high school. The stark contrast between their carefree summer selves and the complexities of the school year sets the stage for a charming and humorous exploration of love and identity.

Gonzales adeptly portrays the internal struggles of Will, who suppresses his true self, leading to a poignant narrative. Ollie’s resilience and self-awareness shine through, creating a powerful dynamic. The characters’ journeys contribute to a broader message about the importance of authenticity and self-worth.

Only Mostly Devastated weaves a narrative that delves into themes of self-discovery and honesty. It skillfully addresses the internal conflicts faced by the characters, emphasizing the positive messages of staying true to oneself amidst societal expectations.

Sophie Gonzales crafts the narrative with precision, effectively communicating the complexity of suppressed emotions and the courage required for self-acceptance. The writing style seamlessly blends humor and depth, making the book an engaging and relatable read.

In conclusion, Only Mostly Devastated is more than a cute and funny exploration of teenage love; it’s a compelling story of empowerment. Readers will be captivated by the characters’ journeys, the positive portrayal of self-worth, and the courage to stand up for oneself. This book is a must-read for anyone seeking a delightful yet powerful narrative on love, authenticity, and the journey to self-discovery during the challenging years of adolescence.

Book received via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you all for coming over and checking out my thoughts on this lovely read, Only Mostly Devastated. If you’ve read the book and have a different take on it, I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

To those readers who loved Simon vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda  (book & film) and readers who enjoy relationship-building, angst, friendship, humor with authentic touches of sadness and self-reflection–I know, that’s a lot, isn’t it?!😆.

I am confident you are going to enjoy this book as much as I did. And I highly recommend  Only Mostly Devastated be your next story to dive into.😊

Until the next post,

Gia.

#ReadPalestine Week

Join us for an international #ReadPalestine week, starting Wednesday, November 29, on the International Day of Solidarity with the Palestinian People. Here, you can find more than 35 free ebooks in nine languages from publishers around the world.—Publishers for Palestine

Hiya,

With my focus turned to the Middle East in recent weeks, a personal curiosity has been ignited, prompting me to actively seek out more stories and authors from the region. The last few weeks have been difficult seeing and reading about the conditions the Palestinians have been facing not only the last fifty-six days seven decades. Regardless, I know it is important to bare witness, share their stories, voices and help in the cause to bring awareness.

My initial encounter with the Palestinian conflict occurred over a decade ago during an Anthropology class where the movie “Munich” depicted the events of the early 1970s. The narrative began predictably, with a strong militant objective of retaliation and espionage. However, it was only at a pivotal point halfway through the film that the true plight and hardships faced by the Palestinians were revealed. This revelation led the lead character, Avner, to question his actions, his assignment, and his morals.

Over the years, this movie has lingered in my thoughts, leaving me curious to delve deeper. While my reading habits have embraced diverse books and authors, my nonfiction collection has not evolved as much as other genres.

Enter #ReadPalestineWeek—an opportunity for me to read in solidarity for Palestine and expand my knowledge of its people, culture, history, stories, and struggles.

Amidst various humanitarian crises, deplorable treatment, forced occupation, displacement, and ethnic cleansing occurring not only in Gaza and the West Bank but also in Sudan, Congo, Haiti, and many other places worldwide, I invite you to not only join the #ReadPalestineWeek challenge but to explore, share, and continue reading books by Palestinian authors, as well as those from Sudan, Congo, and Haiti.

To track my nonfiction reading goal for the next year, I’ve created my own Non-Fiction Reading Challenge on TheStoryGraph. While I’ll share updates on this journey here, you’re welcome to check it out for yourself here.

Here are a few titles I’ve picked up from the Publisher for Palestine website. It offers a wealth of great book options in multiple languages, and I highly recommend exploring them. The website also features several events this month with Palestinian authors, activists, educators, and a historical timeline.

Thank you so much for reading.

Until the next post,

Gia

Something New: Play This Game

Photo by Kevar Whilby on Unsplash

Hello Again, My Loves❤️

I hope this post finds you all well. I have not been in the right headspace for weeks now with all that is going on in our world. And like many others, it has left me emotionally and physically exhausted and depleted. It seems like one thing after another and every day I find that I am attempting to grasp at tiny straws to keep my anxiety at bay.

This week I finally had the thought of picking up my tablet to read again. And even the inspiration to be creative. This reminded me of a poem I wrote for a contest held in a discord group I’m a member of. The piece is titled Play This Game and it is based on the theme of being “bored in the house” during quarantine. 😆 It took a while to finish when I was working on it because it evolved into a much longer piece than I intended, but I had fun working on it. And I love how it turned out.

It tells the story of an engaged couple having to spend their time together while under quarantine. In the beginning, things are fine but as the days drag on their perfect relationship begins to fall apart. This isn’t a literal reflection of any romantic relationship of mine but the frustration in the narrative and the doubt that steadily creeps in were drawn from my own anxiety and frustrations during quarantine. As you read you will notice how each of them sees their relationship and the partner they have chosen to spend forever with.

I hope you like it🙂 I’m pleased to share it with you now. Here is Play This Game:

 

Day 5

“Let’s relax and Netflix.”

Bored, but overlooking the urge to explore deeper.

Showtime. Food Network. Apple Tv.

Binge-watching anime is still the winner.

Day 10

“Let’s walk the dogs.”

“Let’s try out that new cookbook.”

Day in. Day out.

This routine has worn me down.

Day 14

“Let’s talk.”

“Let’s reconnect.”

Cosplaying as Asta and S.A.M. are losing its effect.

Do you just want to have sex?

Day 16

Prickly. Hot. And constant.

The depth of my thinning patience,

Against your incessant annoyance

Is weaning

Day 21

“Let’s replay God of War.”

“Or we can pull out the grill.”

“We can always just Netflix and chill.”

Permit me a moment alone to be still.

Day 27

Breathe. Blink. Staring out at empty streets.

The stale air in this house, just shy of suffocating,

But I’ve found better ways to play this game

Day 30

My tongue across your skin.

Salty. Bitter. Hungry.

I’m tasting a different part of you; unseen.

Corse, rough hands consume me.

Demanding. Powerful. Empty.

Day 31

I thought I missed your lips,

But I think I’m just bored again.

Day 34

“Let’s FaceTime our parents.”

“And watch-party with our friends.”

“So, you can remember the plans for our new beginning.”

Day 37

I’m choked up,

I’m tongue-tied.

I loved you once,

I swear my heart wasn’t a lie.

Day 40

But you’re convinced being cooped up inside

Has morphed this boredom into an unruly monster.

“That’s what is playing tricks with your mind.”

“Come to bed. Close your eyes. Let your mind wander.”

Day 42

I agree with your touch.

Loving. Tender. Sincere.

I agree with your assumed conviction.

Overbearing. Dismissive. A harsh puppeteer.

Day 43

As the days linger on,

Doubt settles further

What entity in these four walls is the true unruly monster?

Day 44

An easy smile and the grasp of my hand.

I submit but my mind begins to understand.

Cold. Unfamiliar. Forced.

Curl over to shield my heart’s remorse.

Day 45

Desperate for a peace of mind that is my own,

I cry in silence while you sleep.

Is this boredom controlling me?

Day 46

“Let’s clean up to stay organized.”

Nodding. I cannot refuse.

There isn’t much else to do

have to play this game with you

Day 50

Color coordinating what stays and what goes.

Blue & purple dots present our story’s inevitable close.

Day 51

It cracks and weakens.

The house’s foundation is screaming.

Alongside our own,

I can no longer smile in this designated role.

Day 52

Our relationship was built on BlerdCon and tethered binds

But we are not the kids we used to be.

Indifferent strangers from a foreign time

So, stop playing this game with me

You shout,

I whisper.

You scream,

I hum.

Gesture to throw your fist,

I run.

Day 53

“Let’s make up.”

“I need to make it right.”

“Let’s track down a counselor. “

Let me sleep on my own, for once, tonight.

Day 54

Failed attempts to decode love’s mainframe

While we slow-burned cold in this obligated isolation

What did two bruised hearts achieve playing this wicked game?

If nothing else, an ironic and bittersweet self-reflection.

Day 55

When these doors are forced open,

And the locks are released.

I will march away willingly.

But you’ll cling to the rotting memories.

Day 63

Too much time wasted bored in this house

I pack up a box and leave the rest behind.

You try to snake around me like a vine,

But I am already halfway to the nearest liquor store for some wine.

~Play This Game by Gia.©~

 

Thank you so much for stopping by to check out Play This Game. Did you spot the anime references? 😄 *hint*: Black Clover & Buster Canons. I aim to be back at reviewing soon, loves.

Until the next post, be well. Stay safe.

Gia.❤️

 

Photos credits for this post:

*Cover Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
*Header Photo by Kevar Whilby on Unsplash

My Midnight Moonlight Valentine By: J.J. McAvoy :🕮 : | Book Tour + Review (GIVEAWAY)

My Midnight Moonlight Valentine
By: J. J. McAvoy
Genre: Contemporary Romance, Vampire Romance, Supernatural, Witches 
Rating: Liked it
Publisher: J.J. McAvoy
Release Date: May 1, 2020

 | Amazon | NOOK | KoBo |

Synopsis:

Druella Monroe is a vampire, but she hasn’t been one for long. Ever since her rebirth a year ago, she’s done her best to live a quiet, peaceful life as an art conservator and restorationist at The National Gallery of Art. All she wants is to blend in with the humans.

However that all gets thrown out the window one night while hunting in Great Falls Park, where Druella comes across a naked vampire with no memory of how he got there, or the last century for that matter. All he seems to be sure of is that she is his soulmate…and he won’t leave without her.

Book Review

My Midnight Moonlight Valentine tells a story of a newly turned vampire, Druella, who is a complete introvert. She lives alone. Works in solitude and hunts in the woods for deer in the middle of the night. However, upon one normal evening of hunting, Druella stumbles across a naked, but a ruggedly handsome vampire who tricks her into helping him after he saves her from a witch attack.

After agreeing to help the strange vampire who claims to be hundreds of years old and missing an entire century from his memories. Druella soon discovers that she and Theseus are bound to each other by something stronger than their thirst for blood.

But the romance novel and art fanatic-loner Druella refuses to buy into any of the nonsense the strange vampire she met in the woods has to say until strange things start to happen all around her—and to her all at once.

Druella is uprooted from her life and all that she has ever known and thrown into the world of magic and the politics of vampires completely unfamiliar with their customs or the culture. But it’s a good thing she has a willing, chivalrous centuries-old vampire eternal by her side to help her.

This is the third book I have read by J.J. and I think that it will hook readers who are fans of vampires/ the supernatural, magic, and romance genres. Moreover, it will be a good read for those who like to have books that are in-depth with a lot of content and background information.

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The Good, The Bad and The Boring — A Writer’s Update While Stuck Inside

Hello, Again,

I hope you’ve been well since our last meeting. This impromptu post came to mind while working on something else and decided it was the right time to give an update. Like everyone else out there trying to adjust, cope, deal, and process all that is happening in our world with COVID-19, my normal schedule has been altered. I am balancing my normal to-do list with creating school assignments and activities for my cousin while he’s out of school.

On top of that, I’m working through a family situation that involves caring for a family member and their recovery. But I won’t get into that right now. I am still writing, reading, and kicking ass–just at a bumper rate at the moment. Ironically, this is a post I drafted based on just the titles several years ago. As both a writer and a (general) book blogger, I have always found more comfort in posting my comments and thoughts on the material I read. Rather than sharing personal stories of my struggles and hard times.

Putting that all into a journal or in the thoughts and words of a fictional character I’ve created was always easier for me than to just post it here. Will I make that part of my “something new” theme here? I don’t know. I think keeping this generally a book-blog/media site is what works best for me.

It has allowed me to make a number of contacts with creative indie writers and it is still a space I feel at home with. However, that urge to share more of me with all of you and the rest of the world bubbles just under the surface. So,  a few weeks ago I applied to be a contributing content writer with Ghost Speaks. It is a powerfully open platform where writers and just normal people can share their stories with the rest of the world anonymously, under a pen name or their own.

Over there I am still G. Jacks for the pieces I’ve shared but who knows, I might submit a few things anonymously from time to time. 😏 Whether you check out Ghost Speaks because of my posts or someone else’s story I highly recommend putting in the time to read some of the pieces there. You never know, you could come across a post from a person who has or is going through the same thing you are.

With the current restrictions and limitations we are all facing, I have turned to books, manga, anime, tv shows (a few) and writing to space out my free time and remain busy. The latter has always been my strongest saving grace. For those who might be having a hard time adjusting, I wanted to close out this post with a few options to pass the time.

WAYS TO CURVE THE SOLUM BOREDOM

animals blur car close up

Photo by NEOSiAM 2020 on Pexels.com

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Butterfly By: Ashley Antoinette : 😬 : | Book Review

Butterfly
By: Ashley Antoinette
Genre: Contemporary Fiction, Urban Drama, Gangs, Adult Content/ Adult Fiction, Spin-off from different series,
Rating: Wasn’t for me
Publisher: St. Martin’s Griffin
Release Date: January 7, 2020

Audible | Amazon |

Synopsis:

Butterfly is the first novel in an all new series by New York Times bestselling author Ashley Antoinette!

“Run away from the boy that gives you butterflies, he’s going to break your heart.”

Morgan Atkins had been told that phrase ever since she was a little girl and still she allowed herself to fall for the boy that made her heart flutter. After losing her first love, Morgan is terrified to love again. She’s settled for a comfortable life with a respectable man. She has everything. She’s living in the lap of luxury and although she’s comfortable, she’s bored out of her mind.

When a ghost from her past blows into town, she finds herself entangled in an illicit affair. It’s wrong, but she can’t fight the butterflies he gives her and honestly, she doesn’t want to. She can’t hide the natural attraction she feels and soon, she’s so deep involved that she can no longer tell where the boundary between right and wrong lies. Her heart is telling her one thing, but her head is saying another. Morgan Atkins has always been a spoiled girl and she tries to have it all, but when she’s forced to choose between a good man and a bad boy, someone will end up hurt. Someone just may end up dead.

Morgan Atkins has been through more tragedy than one girl can bear. Will she weather this storm? Or will the ultimate heartbreak ruin her for good?

**Reviewer note: I would like to mention a warning to readers about the contents of the book: some might be triggering. As the context includes strong adult language and mature material.**

My Thoughts

Mourning the loss of her first love, Morgan tries to move on with her life a few years after heartbreak in London with her twin toddlers, and a wonderfully caring, affectionate and wealthy man who willingly stepped up for the role as their father. She has been blessed with remarkable beauty and Morgan couldn’t hope or ask for a better life. But she isn’t happy.

She knows she should be but cannot seem to put her heart into anything but her children even after being publicly and adoringly proposed to by her boyfriend, Bash.

That is until old friends from her past life and neighborhood show up and almost as if a switch is flipped, Morgan begins to question everything about her new life.

Butterfly was my first read by Ashley Antoinette, so I didn’t know what to expect to read with this book. And I have to say it was a unique experience. The premise of the book was intriguing and gave me the impression that I was going into a story of a woman showing this huge struggle emotionally between an old love and a new one but the further I went into the book the more I realized that my assumption was off base. And it left me with a perplexed reaction to the story and Morgan’s character.

While I am certain there is a BIG audience for this story style, I do not think I fit the mold. Morgan’s character has a lot of flaws, which is usually what makes a character so interesting and entertaining

But Morgan’s actions and thoughts remained in a state of constant contradiction. Not only with matters of the heart but with her children and her struggle to just be honest with herself.

Morgan claimed in the beginning that she put her children first because they were all she had in life that mattered and because they were the last real connection she had with her the love of her life and the kids’ father, Messiah.

Yet it was this detail I felt her character never actually lived up to in the narrative. In my opinion, Morgan does Morgan in Butterfly. An instance that remains true in all her decisions from beginning to end. I don’t mind self-involved characters but since I had such a hard time figuring her character out I was hoping to feel a connection with her based on the bond she had with her kids while her love-life was all in over the place but the connection wasn’t there.

In fact, I got the impression that she was happier to be without them and reconnect with her old life and friends before she had them rather than put real thought into a future love life with them factored into it, putting Bash’s wealth and status to the side, she had other means of giving the thought serious consideration. But she overlooks it.

And while I could understand her character’s impulse to default to old habits out of habit and familiarity. Driven by this repressed need to feel like herself after not dealing with or fully processing Messiah‘s death. Just to turn around and have his children on the cusps of falling into yet another serious relationship in such a short period.

We see Morgan herself call attention to these red flags with the arrival of her old friends Asia and Ahmeek. She makes the clear as day repeatedly, noting her particular attraction to Meek as being strongly tied to her grief over Messiah and lingering feelings of her past. Therefore, because of her repression and indecisiveness, I wasn’t convinced that her feelings came from a real place unlike that of Meek’s as the two grew closer—this is just an assumption on my part with the level of internal struggling Morgan’s character has in the book, it might make you wonder too.

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