March 2nd…

Today is my grandmother’s birthday. I wounder were she is right now. I haven’t seen her in months and I miss her. it’s after 1 right now and I can’t sleep. I haven’t been able to clear my head lately and it’s mostly over a guy but not in the odd way that you may think. Yes I love him and yes we were close and he was my best-friend but we weren’t in a relationship and we were never romantic or anything but I kind of broke off our connection because of feeling I started to have for him and things became hash.

So I’m siting here at 1:29 in the morning on March the 2nd, my grandmother’s birthday sulking about how much I miss him, what I did, how I wish I could take it all back and forget I ever thought it was a good idea to tell him how I felt in the first place and let things go back to the way they were. That way my heart wouldn’t be breaking every time I run out of things to fill up the space and seconds that tic-tic by because something deep inside of me is scared that I might have lost him….forever.