Something New: Play This Game

Photo by Kevar Whilby on Unsplash

Hello Again, My Loves❤️

I hope this post finds you all well. I have not been in the right headspace for weeks now with all that is going on in our world. And like many others, it has left me emotionally and physically exhausted and depleted. It seems like one thing after another and every day I find that I am attempting to grasp at tiny straws to keep my anxiety at bay.

This week I finally had the thought of picking up my tablet to read again. And even the inspiration to be creative. This reminded me of a poem I wrote for a contest held in a discord group I’m a member of. The piece is titled Play This Game and it is based on the theme of being “bored in the house” during quarantine. 😆 It took a while to finish when I was working on it because it evolved into a much longer piece than I intended, but I had fun working on it. And I love how it turned out.

It tells the story of an engaged couple having to spend their time together while under quarantine. In the beginning, things are fine but as the days drag on their perfect relationship begins to fall apart. This isn’t a literal reflection of any romantic relationship of mine but the frustration in the narrative and the doubt that steadily creeps in were drawn from my own anxiety and frustrations during quarantine. As you read you will notice how each of them sees their relationship and the partner they have chosen to spend forever with.

I hope you like it🙂 I’m pleased to share it with you now. Here is Play This Game:

 

Day 5

“Let’s relax and Netflix.”

Bored, but overlooking the urge to explore deeper.

Showtime. Food Network. Apple Tv.

Binge-watching anime is still the winner.

Day 10

“Let’s walk the dogs.”

“Let’s try out that new cookbook.”

Day in. Day out.

This routine has worn me down.

Day 14

“Let’s talk.”

“Let’s reconnect.”

Cosplaying as Asta and S.A.M. are losing its effect.

Do you just want to have sex?

Day 16

Prickly. Hot. And constant.

The depth of my thinning patience,

Against your incessant annoyance

Is weaning

Day 21

“Let’s replay God of War.”

“Or we can pull out the grill.”

“We can always just Netflix and chill.”

Permit me a moment alone to be still.

Day 27

Breathe. Blink. Staring out at empty streets.

The stale air in this house, just shy of suffocating,

But I’ve found better ways to play this game

Day 30

My tongue across your skin.

Salty. Bitter. Hungry.

I’m tasting a different part of you; unseen.

Corse, rough hands consume me.

Demanding. Powerful. Empty.

Day 31

I thought I missed your lips,

But I think I’m just bored again.

Day 34

“Let’s FaceTime our parents.”

“And watch-party with our friends.”

“So, you can remember the plans for our new beginning.”

Day 37

I’m choked up,

I’m tongue-tied.

I loved you once,

I swear my heart wasn’t a lie.

Day 40

But you’re convinced being cooped up inside

Has morphed this boredom into an unruly monster.

“That’s what is playing tricks with your mind.”

“Come to bed. Close your eyes. Let your mind wander.”

Day 42

I agree with your touch.

Loving. Tender. Sincere.

I agree with your assumed conviction.

Overbearing. Dismissive. A harsh puppeteer.

Day 43

As the days linger on,

Doubt settles further

What entity in these four walls is the true unruly monster?

Day 44

An easy smile and the grasp of my hand.

I submit but my mind begins to understand.

Cold. Unfamiliar. Forced.

Curl over to shield my heart’s remorse.

Day 45

Desperate for a peace of mind that is my own,

I cry in silence while you sleep.

Is this boredom controlling me?

Day 46

“Let’s clean up to stay organized.”

Nodding. I cannot refuse.

There isn’t much else to do

have to play this game with you

Day 50

Color coordinating what stays and what goes.

Blue & purple dots present our story’s inevitable close.

Day 51

It cracks and weakens.

The house’s foundation is screaming.

Alongside our own,

I can no longer smile in this designated role.

Day 52

Our relationship was built on BlerdCon and tethered binds

But we are not the kids we used to be.

Indifferent strangers from a foreign time

So, stop playing this game with me

You shout,

I whisper.

You scream,

I hum.

Gesture to throw your fist,

I run.

Day 53

“Let’s make up.”

“I need to make it right.”

“Let’s track down a counselor. “

Let me sleep on my own, for once, tonight.

Day 54

Failed attempts to decode love’s mainframe

While we slow-burned cold in this obligated isolation

What did two bruised hearts achieve playing this wicked game?

If nothing else, an ironic and bittersweet self-reflection.

Day 55

When these doors are forced open,

And the locks are released.

I will march away willingly.

But you’ll cling to the rotting memories.

Day 63

Too much time wasted bored in this house

I pack up a box and leave the rest behind.

You try to snake around me like a vine,

But I am already halfway to the nearest liquor store for some wine.

~Play This Game by Gia.©~

 

Thank you so much for stopping by to check out Play This Game. Did you spot the anime references? 😄 *hint*: Black Clover & Buster Canons. I aim to be back at reviewing soon, loves.

Until the next post, be well. Stay safe.

Gia.❤️

 

Photos credits for this post:

*Cover Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
*Header Photo by Kevar Whilby on Unsplash

The Bitch Is Back: Older, Wiser, And (Getting) Happier by: Cathi Hanauer Book Review

By: Cathi Hanauer
Genre: Non-Fiction, Feminism, Essays, Memoirs
Rating: 3 stars
Release Date: September 27, 2016
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Synopsis:

More than a decade after the New York Times bestselling anthology The Bitch in the House spoke up loud and clear for a generation of young women, nine of the original contributors are back—along with sixteen captivating new voices—sharing their ruminations from an older, stronger, and wiser perspective about love, sex, work, family, independence, body-image, health, and aging: the critical flash points of women’s lives today.

“Born out of anger,” the essays in The Bitch in the House chronicled the face of womanhood at the beginning of a new millennium. Now those funny, smart, passionate contributors—today less bitter and resentful, and more confident, competent, and content—capture the spirit of postfeminism in this equally provocative, illuminating, and compelling companion anthology.

Having aged into their forties, fifties, and sixties, these “bitches”—bestselling authors, renowned journalists, and critically acclaimed novelists—are back . . . and better than ever. In The Bitch Is Back, Cathi Hanauer, Kate Christensen, Sarah Crichton, Debora Spar, Ann Hood, Veronica Chambers, and nineteen other women offer unique views on womanhood and feminism today. Some of the “original bitches” (OBs) revisit their earlier essays to reflect on their previous selves. All reveal how their lives have changed in the intervening years—whether they stayed coupled, left marriages, or had affairs; developed cancer or other physical challenges; coped with partners who strayed, died, or remained faithful; became full-time wage earners or homemakers; opened up their marriages; remained childless or became parents; or experienced other meaningful life transitions.

As a “new wave” of feminists begins to take center stage, this powerful, timely collection sheds a much-needed light on both past and present, offering understanding, compassion, and wisdom for modern women’s lives, all the while pointing toward the exciting possibilities of tomorrow.

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